E-POSTSODE 2: LOST (AND FOUND) IN TRANSLATION
Int. Saturday Evening. Bedroom.
The TV illuminates the dark bedroom as Toti & David are watching a film on DVD. We hear the last few strains of the film's background music as credits go up. Toti & David are quiet. David turns on lamp on his side of the bed. He gets remote control and turns off DVD/TV.
DAVID
So... how did you like the movie?
TOTI
uhm... t'was okay...
DAVID
No, really... I want to know what you thought of it...
TOTI
Well... I... I didn't like that scene at the Shabu-Shabu resto where Bill Murray and Scarlett Jo'Hara...
DAVID
Johansson...
TOTI
Yeah, Johnston, whatever... anyway, I think they were total dorks in the Japanese restaurant! I mean, you Americans don't know how to accept and enjoy other cultures... you travel abroad and stay as American as forever, looking for the first McDonalds you spot, and laugh at how other people live their lives if it doesn't appeal to you. And that's how you Americans get into trouble in the first place. You're all so arrogant even outside your territory...
DAVID
But...
TOTI
And Bill and Scarlett are just two bored Americans using their alienation as a convenient excuse to have an affair! It's like 'Falling In Love' -- at least De Niro and Meryl Streep were of the same age, more or less! (beat) What do you think?
DAVID
Exactly, I was just thinking, how could a young, pretty, hot woman like Scarlett Yo-han-sson fall for an oaf like Bill Murray! Now, if Jack Nicholson played the part...
TOTI
...Jack Nicholson would've taught Scarlett how to use chopsticks and I'd love the movie...
(David turns off lamp. David and Toti turn their backs away from each other. Beat.)
DAVID
Why didn't Bill Murray just shoot Ground Hog Day 2... you know, where he wakes up everyday and it's always February 2...
TOTI & DAVID
... IN JAPAN!
(They laugh and snicker and tickle each other. When they settle down, David cradles Toti under his arms... they resume getting to sleep with smiles on their faces. Beat.)
TOTI
(whispers) David...
DAVID
Hmmm...what...?
TOTI
Sorry... okay go back to sleep... (to himself) Next time I'm choosing what DVDs to play.
DAVID
(mutters to himself) Oh no, not another Kevin Bacon retrospective...
TOTI
(elbows David in the stomach) I heard that!
DAVID
Ouch! (He gets up...)
TOTI
Where you...
DAVID
Have to pee... (He goes towards toilet singing and dancing...) Footloose, footloose, put on your Sunday shoes...
(Toti throws a pillow at David. Then his blanket.)
TOTI
Sleep in the sala!
A new e-postsode of TOTI & DAVID will be posted every Sunday
Hooray! It's almost Sunday! As you know, I don't have a tv so this blogcom is a great idea.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Thanks Padma, I am enjoying writing these little sketches, I hope the novelty doesn't wear off...
ReplyDelete