TOTI & DAVID (The Blogcom 3)

E-POSTSODE 3: DRESS ME UP, DRESS ME DOWN

INT. LATE AFTERNOON, SATURDAY JUNE 27. LIVING ROOM

Toti is checking his all-white, velour tennis outfit in the mirror. David walks in...

DAVID

You're playing tennis now?

(Toti ignores David as he practices his tennis strokes with an imaginary tennis racket and ball, grunting as he 'hits' a ball, bouncing the ball before serving, etc.)

DAVID

I didn't know you play tennis...

TOTI

I don't... (he gets bronzer and applies some on his legs and arms) We're going to Malate tonight for the Gay Pride White Party...

DAVID

Uhhhhhh Honey... please not the White Party again...

TOTI

We never go out anymore, David... I promise tonight will be fun, it won't rain like last year...

DAVID

(Teasingly) Let me guess, you're going as which Williams sister again...?

TOTI

Very funny... (Gets a blonde wig with large curlers) TADA! FARRAH FAWCETT! (Toti puts on wig and starts to remove curlers... then he resumes practicing his tennis strokes again)

DAVID

You look beautiful in that Honey...

TOTI

Sweetie Pie, let's go pleeeeaaase, it's going to be fun...

DAVID

I have nothing to wear...

TOTI

(Toti gets something from a paper shopping bag) Here... (Hands him a sequined glove) You can go as Michael Jackson!

DAVID

I'm too fat to be Michael Jackson...

TOTI

But you're white as Michael Jackson!... wear all black then put on the glove and moonwalk your way to the bar...

DAVID

Honey... I'm not sure about this... please, can we not go to Malate this year. Malate depresses me. All those street children selling me flowers... and those old, fat, white men with children of both genders... Honey... I know you went through all these trouble to get your costume, which I think really looks good on you... but, can we skip the White Party this year?

(Toti stops doing his tennis moves and frowns)

DAVID

Oh Honey... (beat) Okay, but I'm not going as Michael Jackson... (He goes toward Toti) You can go as Farrah Fawcett and I'll go as... (He gets down on one knee) Ryan O'Neal... will you marry me?

TOTI

Awww... Sweetie Pie (He sits on David's leg) Thank you... well, it's just that we haven't gone out for the longest time... you don't take me out to dinner or the movies anymore, or... Thanks David... Oh, but when you propose to me later in front of the crowd...? I want a diamond solitaire!

DAVID

(Reaches into his pocket as they both stand up) I've got something better... Pack your bags, Sweetie Pie... we're flying to El Nido tomorrow! (He shows plane tickets) Happy Anniversary!

TOTI

Oh David... I thought you'd forgotten...

DAVID

What do you say we skip Malate and just order out and have a quiet dinner here tonight... we do have an early flight tomorrow...

TOTI

(Teasingly) You think they have a tennis court in El Nido town? I wonder if there's a gorgeous tennis coach there... Or I could learn to scuba dive...? I heard the dive masters in El Nido are hunks...

DAVID

Honey, you're gonna absorb the entire China Sea like a sponge if you dive in that outfit...

TOTI

Haha! (Gets cordless phone) So, let's do Junk Food Saturday? Yellow Cab or Friday's?

TOTI DAVID

Yellow Cab Friday's

TOTI DAVID

Ok, Friday's Ok, Yellow Cab

TOTI DAVID

You decide! You decide!

-curtains-

a new e-postsode of Toti & David will be posted every sunday