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Sunday, August 9, 2009

TOTI & DAVID (The Blogcom 9)



(It is raining hard outside. Toti has just arrived from work. As he puts down his things, David enters and is soaking wet...)

Honey, what...?! You're soaking wet...

Those idiots! They better wish that's the last time I'm going over there...

Did you have an argument with a cab driver again...?

Nope. I went to the other street to your friendly neighbors, you know the Makati's Got Talent contestants, Toti, I can't believe they've been on karaoke since 11am. And every time they would sing a new song, it seemed they would put up the volume a notch higher! It was driving me nuts! I couldn't finish my work...

Oh honey, tell me you didn't...

Oh you bet I did! I told them they could sing all they want but could they please do it indoors and make sure to close all their windows and door and turn down the volume. You know what those bums did?! They offered me a shot of gin, told me to pick a song and handed the microphone to me! And everyone was calling me Joe! I was furious! I told them I didn't care if it was Jun-Jun's birthday, or Len-Len's first month on the job, or Bing-Bing's baptism, or Pao-Pao's circumcision, or whoever redundant-named idiot is celebrating -- I don't care!!! I told them they were bothering the whole neighborhood and it's past 10 pm already! You know what they told me?! Those friggin teens told me they were celebrating the death of Cory and the Philippines' Pride and Nationhood or some words to that effect and that it was their right to do whatever they wanted because they were within the confines of their private property anyway! I told them I would report this to the Barangay Captain only to find out that idiot was right there just about to sing! I told them it may be their right to do anything they want but it's also MY RIGHT TO SOME PEACE AND QUIET!!! Aaaaargh!!! You Filipinos don't know what freedom is... you don't know what nationalism and patriotism is... you don't know... Oh never mind! I'm just glad they've stopped singing!

(We hear the neighbors sing the refrain of 'American Pie' on the loudest volume)

"Ba-bay Miss American Pie, sold my tse-vy to d' lebee but d' lebee was dry. Dem good ol boys were drinking red horse and sprite singing dis will be d' day dat YOU die! Dis will be d' day dat you die, JOE!" Hey JOE! Come back here! You want some more gin?! Ip you cannot beat dem, join them Joe! Hahahahahahahaha!

That's it! I'm taking a shower. Please pack our bags, we're checking-in at the Pen! (David goes upstairs)

(To himself) Yippee! Manila Pen! I think I should ask those boys to sing every weekend so we can check-in at a hotel. (Shouts to David teasingly...) David! If Imelda is at the Pen's Lobby and sings 'Dahil Sa Yo', will we fly to the Hong Kong Peninsula instead?! (Imelda the dog goes to Toti...) Imelda, I was not referring to you.(Toti grins sheepishly as he goes upstairs to pack their bags)

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