E-POSTSODE 6: LA VIE EN ROSE TATTOO
INT / LATE AFTERNOON / LIVING ROOM
(Toti is busy scanning some magazines for graphic images; David enters...)
DAVID
Have a presentation today?
TOTI
Nah... just need some references...
DAVID
Hmm... those are pretty...
TOTI
Pretty?!
DAVID
I meant pretty cool... is that for a billboard?
TOTI
Nope... I'm getting a tattoo.
DAVID
Why would you want a tattoo? That's so last millenium.
TOTI
I thought a tattoo peering out my shorts, just above my buns, would be nice for the beach.
DAVID
First a small, discreet one at the lower back, then you'll add another in your arm, then you'll get one on your leg... what are you gonna do next, piercings?
TOTI
Oh no, sweetie, I promise, just one, pleeeeeaaase? Will you help me pick out a design then?
DAVID
It's your body, it's your choice.
TOTI
Jeez... I'm having a tattoo not an abortion. Besides, it may be my body but you're the one who'll get to see it most of the time.
DAVID
No, Toti, you decide. Because if one day you'll regret having it, I don't want to be blamed half for it... Why don't you try it with henna first?
TOTI
(sulks) Ok... ok... so, how bout this one...
DAVID
Too tribal...
TOTI
This?
DAVID
Too butch... you'll need a Harley and leather pants to go with that one.
TOTI
This then...
DAVID
Are you out of your mind?! Even Hannibal Lecter would find that way too heavy... honey, you could get arrested just for having that tattoo.
TOTI
Ok... I'll just decide on my own then... thank you very much...
(The doorbell rings. Toti goes to open door, he leads JC, a young, good-looking, buffed, tattoo artist into the living room, JC is holding his backpack and helmet)
DAVID
You ordered pizza?
TOTI
David... JC. uh... JC, this is David. JC's here to do my tattoo...
DAVID
I think I better hang out here a bit...
TOTI
You can't stand needles... now go up to your room. I'll call you when it's done... surprise!
DAVID
Just one tattoo, honey... and that's all he's doing okay?
(Toti signals David to leave the room as Toti removes his shirt. JC sets up his equipment. David goes upstairs... After an hour and a half... JC packs his things, Toti pays him, and leads him to the door... JC revs his motorcycle... David hears this and so he goes back downstairs)
DAVID
Done already? Well that was quick! Lemme see...
TOTI
Don't touch it, it's still sore... (Toti turns his back and reveals on his lower back, just above his buns, a yellow, Tweety Bird tattoo)
DAVID
(Breathes in air in shock... then...) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
TOTI
Whaaat?! What's so funny?!
DAVID
Tell me that's in henna, honey...
TOTI
Nope, it's permanent. If it were in henna it wouldn't ache this much.
DAVID
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
TOTI
WHAAAAAT?! WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!
DAVID
Oh honey, what kind of pansy would get a Tweety Bird tattoo? Did you ask permission from David Geffen?... Honey, you're never getting past immigration with that tattoo... they'll skin you alive for piracy! (trying to stifle his chuckles) I can just hear all the jokes by the beach now: "Uhm, mister, there's a tiny bird up your ass!" or even "I tawt I taw a puddy cock!" hihihihihihi
You could even get into trouble when a kid runs over to his parents and says "Dad, that man put my Tweety Bird on his ass!" hihihihihihihi you'll be the butt of jokes... on twitter!
TOTI
You didn't want to help me pick out one... so live with it!
DAVID
hihihihihihi... no more showers together in the meantime honey, unless you want them to be laughfests! Oh, and lights out in the bedroom from now on...
TOTI
That shouldn't be a problem... I'm sleeping in the guest room. (he goes upstairs)
DAVID
Honey, shall I bring up your dinner?! You want wine to go with your birdseed?! hihihihihi
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