10 IDEAS TO REPLACE THE CEMENT PINE TREE

Everyone is bitching about the Cement Pine Tree at the top of Session Road, Baguio City. There is a page on Facebook clamoring to take it down. The tree was erected during former Congressman Bernardo Vergara's term sometime in the mid 90s. It was reported to have cost more than a million pesos. After all these years, people only now are riled up about it?! Certain sectors of the city are bent on tearing it down and are looking for ideas on what to build/do in its place. Here are some ideas:

1. Erect a giant, concrete strawberry instead. The Pine Tree was ugly to begin with, that's why people hate it. Make sure the strawberry is cute. The seeds can be removable exposing a small slot wherein people can write their wishes/prayers and insert it there and replace the seeds back. Just like that wall in Jerusalem. This will be a sure hit with tourists.

2. Remember the infamous Marcos Bust in Taloy? Okay, I don't propose they build a new one at the top of Session Road. Forget Philippine Presidents or Heroes, their faces are all over our money anyway. I say we build a bust of Manny Pacquiao. Aber, who's going to complain? Could be another crowd drawer. Besides, Pacquiao trains in Baguio City when he can.

3. The Lion carved from stone in Kennon Road has withstood time. I say it's time we put the Rotary wheel up in Session Road including Rotary's 4-Way Test. Enuf said.

4. Speaking of Lions -- why not erect a giant, gold cat with the swaying arm? But the mechanism should rely on wind or solar power. What if there's a brownout, luck might dissipate. Henry Sy might just shoulder the expense sparing the city's budget. Good Feng Shui not only for SM but for entire Session Road.

5. A Basketball Board and Ring. Traffic is sooooo bad during peak hours people might as well shoot some hoops and get their daily exercise. Hindi lang pampamilya, pang-sports pa!

6. Now I get it! With traffic sooooo bad at the top of Session Road, take down the tree and make it a drive-thru service. But wait, let's not give it to McDonald's or Jollibee ha, and most definitely not another 7-11 -- dapat homegrown business. Don Henrico's or Pizza Volante should bid for the space. Or they can be back-to-back. Other businesses could be a laundry shop, copy center, travel agency, pawnshop, etc. I've seen some of these here in Manila that occupy a floor area much less than the rotunda. The rent will be added income to the city.

7. Advertising space. Put a giant frame for more billboards! Nothing excites the youth more than scantily clad male/female models advertising anything and everything. It will get the youth all worked up that they'd prefer to make love not war. Crime rate will go down. Population will skyrocket. Good for the economy and the future ob gyne/pediatricians.

8. An ice skating rink for children only. We can secretly train our future Winter Olympians there. Yeah, start them young!

9. If people are in the mood of tearing down stuff -- I say we transfer the Bell Amphitheater in John Hay to the top of Session Road. More people will have access and can appreciate that historical piece in its new location. We can then have weekly "Baguio's Got Talent" contests there. No need for judges. Commuters will be the judges. If a contestant is belched with smoke then he's a loser. If vehicles honk, eh di winner! Then we can close Session Road on Baguio Day every September and hold the finals there for everyone to watch. We won't have to import artistas from Manila anymore. Or comediennes who spew racist slurs.

10. Put up a mini museum. The museum will feature artifacts from the Old Baguio. It will be sound-proof, temperature controlled at a cool 15 degrees celsius year round and pine scented. Perfect for those hankering for the glory days of our beloved city.

MABUHAY ANG BAGUIO CITY!!!

Oh and please don't tear down the cement pine tree. Carefully "ball" and "transplant" it to that restaurant a few meters away with the giant igorots. Bagay diba? Besides, sayang naman the millions spent on the tree. Or better -- shove it in a garage in Q.M. to remind that politician of his folly. And please ask him to reimburse the expense to the city.

WRONG WAY TO GO GREEN

The ancestral house of Dr. Jose Rizal in Calamba, Laguna has recently been, hold on to your seats, painted a 'light shade of green' by no less than the National Historical Institute (NHI). That's not all, they painted the interiors a kind of yellow and the ceilings blue. Even if these are in Martha Stewart's tasteful palette -- the reason this was done is outright stupid. Government has once again shown its disrespect for history and its disregard not only of tax payers money but more importantly the opinion of these tax payers. Don't they even hold consultations with the residents of Laguna? (read full article by clicking on the link above)

This is but another example of Government's lust for tacky infrastructure. Take the Cement Pine Tree at the top of Session Road which was 'planted' with more than a million pesos. To add insult, there's the engraved sign, also on cement, that reads "Plant Me and Protect Me". Now a cement pine tree with white, 60s plastic orbs for lights -- a giant energy-consuming tree that doesn't eat up carbon monoxide spewed by vehicles on Session Road?! I really don't get it. Also those street sign posts and flyover railings made of cement but rendered to simulate pine logs. Didn't know pine trees had as many nodes as bamboo. Wow! Green as a dodo's phlegm!

Or how about the lamp posts along historic Manila Bay. Ugly by day, uglier by night! You'd feel like you just walked into the 'Wheel Of Fortune' set! Don't be surprised if someone dressed like Vanna White prods you to buy a vowel! Only Kuya Germs and The Bellestar dancers would find those lamps pretty.

Now the Philippines doesn't lack for artists, urban planners, architects, etc. Heck, the Cultural Center of the Philippines is just a stone's throw away from Manila Baywalk. National Artist Bencab is a resident of Baguio. What was NHI's Ambeth Ocampo thinking of? Green, yellow and blue? Go, Look and Sob. Worse even, they put up a tarpaulin explaining the choices of color for the Rizal House. Tarpaulin again?! If you'd line up all the tarpaulins in the Philippines, it would be enough to cover, uhm, the entire Philippines! Think of all that plastic.

Speaking of tarps, government is looking at taking down the 'sexy' billboards along Edsa, because they're a source of traffic accidents. Those billboards were tastefully conceptualized, executed, and photographed by competent and creative people in the advertising industry. Not to mention they cover some eyesores. I'd rather ogle Marc Nelson's abs than walk along Baywalk. Manila drivers are crazy, with or without sexy billboards. (Unless them bus drivers are now gay?! Oh, but that's another blog post.)

Going back, I'm not even going to think of how they could have spent those funds on worthwhile endeavours.

Next time, go ahead and get your kickbacks from these projects, we all know you do, but please, leave us with something more aesthetic. Don't any of you pick up anything in your yearly junkets abroad? Unless y'all just visit Disneyland.